How to Deal with Fish

Dispatch all Shads
With an adze
But for Haddock
Employ a mattock.
Impale a Pike
Upon a spike
(Like a shrike.)
Beat your Perch
With rods of birch;
For Tench,
A wrench.
The Muskellunge
Must be well wrung.
The common Bream
Is drowned in cream.
Whiting
Wants biting.
Stab Crucian Carp
With anything sharp.
But only a lout
Would harm a Trout

--Adapted from various folk ballads and lore by G. W. Sleevesworth, O.F.M.