About the time of Tiberius there lived a man, named Apicius; very rich and luxurious, for whom several kinds of cheesecakes, called Apician, are named. He spent myriads of drachms on his belly, living chiefly at Minturae, a city of Campania, eating very expensive crawfish....

--Athenaeus

I have acquired the crustaceavoracious gentleman's cookbook. Or rather, according to the introduction, a cookbook dedicated to him by an unknown compiler. After all, there were other Apicii. The most famous of them, also a gourmet, invented any number of dishes, endowed a culinary school, and killed himself when the money ran out. He most likely did not write the book either. Of the modern translator, I am please to say I know with certainty that he is Joseph Dommers Vehling. At least, his name is on the front cover.

The difficult of determining authorship does nothing to diminish the charm of this cookbook. My only complaint? The cheesecakes, alas, are not to be found within it.

I reproduce "Stuffed Sepia" below.

Pepper, Lovage, Celery Seed, Caraway, Honey, Broth, Wine, 'Basic Condiments'¹. Heat [water], throw in the cuttlefish with Boiled Brains, the strings and skin removed, pound with Pepper, mix in Raw Eggs until it is plenty. Whole Pepper. Tie into little bundles [of linen] and immerse in the boiling stock pot until the forcemeat is properly cooked.

I regret I cannot yet comment on the taste of this dish. Give me time, and cuttlefish!

¹ Condimenta coctiva. The translator suggests "salt, herbs, roots", which I find unhelpful.