By the way, an antique sword is not a bad self-defense weapon at all (caveat: I've no idea of the quality of the aforelinked site's merchandise; it just appeared above my page as an ad). Put it in some decorative location, and it makes an excellent weapon which looks improvised, not premeditated. If our friends across the pond do end up registering their kitchen knives, it may be their best option. A good chef's knife, though, is perfect: eight inches long, sharp, and sturdy. A sword should be the same: small, so it can be used in tight spaces, sharp, so you can inflict some damage, and sturdy, so you can continue inflicting damage for some time. Hmm. Small, sharp, and sturdy: that's quite close to the ideals I have for my body (small being imposed by my genes).

UPDATE: My friend Javier tells me he wants to be "fayo, fuerte, y formal". To each his own, I guess. I also guess at the spelling above, but there you go.