Inside it was a small ceramic figure, consisting of a woman with stop-light red hair wrapped in leaves, and man, wearing a strawberry for a hat, tangled in vines, both supporting a large, red strawberry. They are apparently a "Punsawana", although what that is escapes both traditional research and the Internet-enhanced variety. A slip of paper gives the following information:
A small being of great mystery, whose origins and time of existence are unknown. Some call them tricksters, others say protectors. But all agree on their story telling [sic] and gift of laughter.
GULL
It is, so far as I can tell, a pagan idol. And not a good one, even, but one made up by someone who's read too much George MacDonald.
Also includes was one of these tapes, in the theta frequency, whatever that means. I can't bring myself to trust any such thing, when it doesn't link to the studies to which it so proudly alludes.
These are not things to help. These are things to distract, in a particularly cloying way, from the grim truth of cancer.
My friend is Russian Orthodox, and arranged a moleben for the ailing. There's no dancing around the issue in such a ceremony; there's a sick sister in Christ, and we want her to be better. You healed Peter's mother-in-law, You healed the paralytic lying on his bed, the prayers say; You have told us that our prayers will be answered if they are given in faithfulness; then heal her, your handmaid.
The priest, afterwards, spoke briefly, saying that the age of miracles is not over. It only lapses when we lapse. Shall I confess? Miracles are hard for me, to understand and to believe. I'm too philosophical in such matters; too philosophical even to accept the silly "sub-atomic" miracles proposed by silly people who want to have their cake and eat it too. The game is not worth the candle if the rules can be changed all of a sudden. Without the possibility of losing, why play?
I've been taught, as I've trained in my martial art, that anger is the consequence of seeing oneself as a victim. The proper attitude, the effective attitude, in a self-defense situation and in life, is to remain calm, in action mind. Consider your options. Think, "what am I going to do with this situation?". But what am I to do with this? I can't break it in two like a board. I can't outmanuever it, change fighting ranges, gain surprise against it. I can't help her in any way but prayer, which feels so thin to me right now. I am angry, angry at the people who misdiagnosed her earlier, angry at the doctors for not being able to fix it right now. I'm angry at God, for putting this on someone so kind and loving.
I won't take the advice of Job's wife. I'm not railing at the sky, waving my impotent fists. I will ask His help in this, because, despite all rational objections, I don't care. I want her to be better. And I will ask the saints to pray for her, since while we have to sleep sometimes, they don't. Their prayers can be constant. For those of you so inclined, yours would be appreciated as well. For those of you who are thinking that this is just another means of distraction from the real issue, a cure for cancer would be nice.
