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Friday, October 21, 2011
If philosophers were cooks
I was always a lackluster philosophy student, so this is a challenge better suited to Odious' talents. I'll merely note that the, oh let's say, chile relleno greater than which no chile relleno can be conceived obviously exists, inasmuch as an existent relleno is clearly greater than a non-existent one.

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The Bolognese which can be cooked is not the true Bolognese. The Bolognese which can be eaten is not the true Bolognese. The Bolognese which cannot be cooked or eaten is not the true Bolognese.
The Art of Cooking is of vital importance to the State. It is a matter of life and death, the way to satisfaction or eructation. It can by no means be neglected.

With dispersive dishes, boil. With easy dishes, sautee. With contentious dishes, fry. With serious dishes, roast. With difficult dishes, broil. With hemmed-in dishes, use two pots. With desperate dishes, consult Julia.
The Master said:

Too much garlic makes conversation impossible. When conversation is impossible, communication breaks down. When communication breaks down, the people cannot move hand or foot. When the people cannot move hand or foot, the state cannot survive. Without the state, man cannot obey heaven. Thus the proper use of garlic is of paramount importance.
I declare all such ingredients transcendental which form the grounding of the dish but have no phenomenal existence in the final dish, e.g. pots, pans, and the twelve transcendental categories of spatulae.
Whether spaghetti Bolognese requires pancetta.

Obj. 1. It seems that spaghetti Bolognese does not require pancetta. For no dish can be prepared without ingredients. But spaghetti Bolognese is prepared in innumerable restaurants without access to pancetta. Therefore spaghetti Bolognese does not require pancetta.

Obj. 2. Moreover, spaghetti Bolognese never existed as such in Bologna. Thus, the name refers to nothing whatsoever. Without an agreed upon significance, no recipe can be more accurate than another.

On the contrary: pancetta is delicious.

I answer that without pancetta it is just meat sauce. Like from a can.

Reply to objection 1: that's not how mama used to make it.

Reply to objection 2: The term "spaghetti Bolognese" is used analogously to "fettucine Bolognese" to indicate that the concepts are related by way of the same sauce, although the noodles differ.
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