Movie producers! What is wrong with you? Your heads are addled with novels and poems! You come home ever evening reeling, unable to think straight, and you sign off on the most incredibly idiotically cyclopeanly bad movies ever conceived in that reechy thought-womb you call a skull. And here I sit, wasting my mighty, mighty thoughts on protecting the public from their own stupidity, when we, that is, you, Mr. Moneybags, and me, the virtuous youth (and I don't mean that in a dirty way) with bright eyes unspoilt by decades of disillisionment, could be doing something about it. I have a great idea for a movie. It involves a troupe of Chinese acrobats who travel to a medieval Spanish city, and, through clever use of special effects, pose as demons to rule the town in conjunction with its Mohammedan lord. There are also Jewish alchemists. Call me!