Bloody hell, people, what's wrong with everybody? Nobody drinks anymore, and if they do they don't end up amusing P.G. Wodehouse drunk, they start grabbing people's asses and I have to 86 them from the bar, 'cause I'm the manager and so forth, which apparently means now I have to deal with all the nonsense that previously I ignored whilst filching 20 year old port from the restaurant, but now I have to make sure that our liquor costs are below 40%, which would be fine except that the bar gives away free shots to all and sundry, and I mean, sure, I can understand the pretty girls, but the free drinks to old guys whose only talent is playing craps for cheap jewellery is beyond me: I mean really, fine, whatever, but COME ON and all of a sudden I'm wearing a tie which I bought 'specially for the stupid job which as far as I can tell consists of playing Minesweeper until someone comes crying that they had to promo a dessert and is that okay (short answer: yes. Long answer: Yes, goddammit, whatever, I don't care) and even though I look DAMFINE in my new tie, like James Bond if he were a restaurant manager, I really hate the thing, I mean, clothes that strangle you about the neck, please people, it's worse than briefs and when am I going to find the time to steal my friend's idea about writing a guide to the correct usage of commas called the Comma Sutra (hee!) and anyone that guesses which of the guidelines proposed in the proposed motto is hereby violated like a Japanese schoolgirl in Urotsukidoji gets a prize.
Bloody sobriety.
And, Jack, where's that post on Utility, capital letter and all, because frankly independent thought is not coming freely to Yours Truly?
